shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Sacagawea was the original milf.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
