does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
