I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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