She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize