they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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