Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
