It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
