we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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