So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
