i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
