Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
