omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
