the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize