i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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