I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
