I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Did we literally take a cab across the street
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
