Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
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