Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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