where am i from again
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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