Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize