My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
