You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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