So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
