party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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