I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
