sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
