We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize