Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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