How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
