he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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