Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
