Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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