why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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