Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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