two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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