I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
