Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
