We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
