I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize