i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
