Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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