high people should be assigned attendants
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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