I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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