You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
