He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
