worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
