I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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