you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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