ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
