She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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