if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
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