using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
