If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Randomize
