Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
