I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
