It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
