? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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