I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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