I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
