I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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