I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize