What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
